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Unified Tag Team Champions DX vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows announced

CM Punk declared that he and Luke Gallows will defeat Unified Tag Team Champions Shawn Michaels and Triple H next week on SmackDown, restoring dignity to the title. Punk also claimed he will become the first straightedge Superstar to win the Royal Rumble Match.

CM Punk welcomed a female member to the “Straightedge Society”

For the past two weeks, male members of the WWE Universe have been inducted into the “Straightedge Society” by CM Punk. But on this night, Serena, a female member of the WWE Universe, welcomed straightedge into her life and accepted CM Punk as her savior. The latest “Straightedge Society” induction ceremony culminated in CM Punk shaving off Serena’s entire beautiful head of hair!

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CM Punk & Luke Gallows def. The Great Khali & Matt Hardy, Cryme Tyme and The Hart Dynasty (Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Match)

For the second week in a row, The Second City Saint converted a member of the WWE Universe to the Straightedge Society, shaving his new recruit’s head as a symbol of his transformation from his “past transgressions” into a new way of life. In the process, Punk pledged that he would continue his Straightedge quest by winning the Royal Rumble Match as the first step toward the salvation of society.

CM Punk & Luke Gallows went on to triumph over three other tag teams, winning the right to face Unified Tag Team Champions D-Generation X for the titles. Though JTG went for the pin on The Straightedge Superstar, he hadn’t noticed that Punk’s “Detoxified Disciple” had tagged himself in. Gallows made short work of the unsuspecting Superstar, hitting him with the Gallows Pole for the monumental victory.

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Ezekiel Jackson wins the ECW Homecoming Finale’s Over-the-Top-Rope Challenge

Ezekiel Jackson was crowned homecoming king in the Land of the Extreme on Tuesday. The Guyanese Goliath bulldozed through his competition, eliminating seven Superstars to win the ECW Homecoming Finale’s Over-the-Top-Rope Challenge. Big Zeke earned himself No. 1 contendership, and will go on to face ECW Champion Christian at Royal Rumble.

Captain Charisma provided commentary at the ECW announce table as Jackson defeated former ECW Champions CM Punk, Matt Hardy and Kane, as well as Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Yoshi Tatsu and Vance Archer. Jackson even single-handedly eliminated the three former ECW Titleholders himself. But will Jackson prove to be as dominant a force on Jan. 31 when he faces ECW Champion Christian at Royal Rumble?

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CM Punk initiated a fan into the “straightedge society”

With Luke Gallows at his side, CM Punk followed up on his promise to “save” a member of the WWE Universe. A fan identified only as James was the chosen one. Assuaging James of his fears, the “Straightedge Savior” shaved his head, initiating him into the straightedge society.

Luke Gallows def. Matt Hardy

After a distraction by his mentor CM Punk, the “Detoxified Disciple” Luke Gallows defeated Matt Hardy with a ruthless Gallows Pole.

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CM Punk interrupts ECW Champion Christian

At the beginning of the evening, ECW Champion Christian welcomed the WWE Universe to ECW on Syfy, and kicked off the night with his thoughts on the ECW Homecoming. But before Captain Charisma could further discuss who he thinks he’ll face at Royal Rumble, he was interrupted by CM Punk. SmackDown’s Second City Saint – and former ECW Champion – brought his crusade to the Land of the Extreme Tuesday night, stating his straightedge way of life will save the WWE Universe. He also claimed he’s going to win the ECW Homecoming and go on to become the Straightedge ECW Champion at Royal Rumble, a promise Christian quickly refuted.

CM Punk def. Mark Henry

SmackDown’s straightedge savior, CM Punk, who earlier in the night promised Christian he’d be challenging him to become the Straightedge ECW Champion, met fellow former ECW Champion, Mark Henry. The World’s Strongest Man seemed to feed off Punk’s kick-fueled attack with his offensive domination. But when Punk distracted the WWE official, his associate, Luke Gallows, kicked Henry in the head. Then, Punk capitalized with two more kicks to the head, knocking Henry to the ground and pinning him for the win. Punk moves on in the ECW Homecoming, but will he be the one to challenge Christian for the ECW Title at Royal Rumble?

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CM Punk def. Matt Hardy in a Beat the Clock Challenge Match

CM Punk emerged with Luke Gallows by his side and attempted to lead the WWE Universe in a pledge to take up the straightedge lifestyle as their New Year’s resolution. The Second City Saint claimed that next week, his “Straightedge Society” will save one “lost soul” from the audience.

SmackDown’s self-proclaimed “savior” then went on to overcome the high-octane Matt Hardy and, with the help of the G.T.S., set a formidable time of 7:20 in the first match of the Challenge. Once the straightedge smoke cleared, Gallows added his own intervention, decimating the war-torn Hardy.

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John Morrison, R-Truth, Matt Hardy & Finlay def. CM Punk, Luke Gallows, Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler

With a host of rivalries intertwined in one match, the WWE Universe was treated to an action-packed eight-man tag match to kick off the night. After a competitive battle from both sides, it was John Morrison who picked up the win for his team by hitting Starship Pain on Dolph Ziggler. As the No. 1 Contender, John Morrison will take on Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre in a title match next week on SmackDown.

Happy Holidays from Better-Than-You.net!

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Rey Mysterio & Mark Henry def. CM Punk & Carlito

Dressed in camouflage from his mask to his pants, Rey Mysterio joined Mark Henry to form a dynamic tag team against CM Punk & Carlito. Showing an awesome mix of power and finesse, The Master of the 619 & The World’s Strongest Man utilized their diversity to outlast their opponents in front of the spirited U.S. servicemen.But what made their teamwork even more special was that they found a way to synchronize a pin against their challengers. Following a 619 by Mysterio on both opponents, Henry connected on the World’s Strongest Slam on Carlito and Mysterio dialed up a frog splash on The Straightedge Superstar to simultaneously pin each foe.

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Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre, CM Punk, & Luke Gallows def. John Morrison, Matt Hardy & R-Truth

The self-proclaimed “Chosen One” Drew McIntyre returned from WWE TLC the new Intercontinental Champion. But when bedlam took over in the Six-Man Tag Team Match he was involved in, it was Luke Gallows that found the way to win. The Superstar formally known as Festus used his new-found focus to pass CM Punk’s 2009 Slammy Award directly to “his savior.” This allowed The Second City Saint to smash Matt Hardy in the abdomen and claim victory for his team.

CM Punk retiring Jeff Hardy won Shocker of the Year

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John Cena def. CM Punk

Despite having captured two World Heavyweight Championships and winning Money in the Bank for the second year in a row, CM Punk described retiring Jeff Hardy after their Steel Cage Match on SmackDown as his finest moment. While The Straightedge Superstar also promised to prevail as WWE Superstar of the Year, his hopes were dashed in minutes when he met up with John Cena. Perhaps compensating for his loss to Sheamus at WWE: TLC, Cena showcased his considerable strength and skills against the holier-than-thou opponent to move onto the winner of the Undertaker vs. Randy Orton match.